Sunday, November 25, 2007

Anti-Productive (chicken in a biskit, vitamin water, and marlboro lights)

I never had a Xanga in my earlier years...ok well maybe for a day but i just got over it/lazy. So call it what you want xanga deprived, html challenged, to caught up with role playing games and trying to download pictures of francine dee with my 56k computer, etc. I just figured with myspace ruining my life i might as well be keeping up with my writing through this shiet, rather than thinking of funny and witty comments to leave my top 80 friend's or being narcissistic and uploading pictures of myself till 3 in the morning. I go to college to graduate with a BA in Literature & Writing, (emphasis in writing) but hardly if ever write any more. So heres my answer to the lack of inspiration that my brain seems to be accustomed to.

So instead of studying, i am glued to the computer screen like many past Sunday nights eating my snacks and drinking my beverage oh and the occasional grit break. Weapons of choice tonight are chicken in a biskit crackers, vitamin water essential flavor and Marlboro Lights. It really is interesting how anti-productive one can be in one night let alone a good bulk of their lifetime. With finals glaring at me from a 2 week distance you would think that i would stop typing and start reading. FUCK THAT. I'm so sick of college and the bull shiet stuff i have to learn. I honestly could care less about photosynthesis and evolution. Especially when kat's these days could hardly evolve their asses out of the cliche house party scene. Now don't get me wrong i myself am a occasional goer of these types of events, but it generally isn't the highlight of my month or week.

Quick list of people and things at house parties i dislike or annoy me:
1. girl who wants to grind her ass on anything that moves
2. guy who wants to grind his crotch on anything that moves
3. That one person you know that you really don't feel like talking to but get caught up and forced into a conversation with
4. guy/girl who at a certain point of the night tells you, "shhhh its a party theirs cops outside"
5.Girl you used to have a thing with
6. Guy that has a thing with the girl you used to have a thing with
7. kids that look like they hardly turned 12
8. Lastly, Mr. I got something to prove so imma get bold and take my shirt of type dudes/"gangsters"

*It's ironic that one of my goals in life is to help people become progressive, but most people irritate the shiet out of me.


The sad thing is 4 out of 8 of the things listed above is probably me when i get a 40oz of OE or a couple shots of Henny. Which ones? Figure it out.

Why can't Parties be more like this





Anyway's flat top's and kid n play aside I think i need to start being more productive. I need to find things to do where i can network myself and meet new people that doesn't involve my face in a toilet or bush at the end of the night or even my fist throbbing in pain cuz im hard and i hit something harder than me. Oh yea and be productive in school.....RIGHT

quote of the day: "girrrrlll did i park in a no parking zone cuz i think i just got exposed to MAXIMUM FINE!" -my inspiration to blog/an inspiration to write - adriel luis

2am Late night poem

Familiar

As I glance around at my surroundings

One person catches my eye notices me looking,

so my heart starts pounding

blood pressure starts rising

my eyes are dull but not blinding

My eyes

My eyes they catch a young man who happens to be familiar,

familiar like a forgotten memory of adolescence

it’s like I know him

and I do

he stares back at me the same way I’m staring at him

as if he knows me to

So I watch him, well it couldn’t be the first time

Because I swear I know him

Almost like I’ve seen him before

I kinda remember things about him, but his name in my head no more

Maybe some dude I had beef with way back when,

But it couldn’t be that so who is this mother fucker then

Starting to get scared as Tupac’s voice replays in my head

“some buck that I roughed up way back, rata tat-tat-tat-tat and that’s the way it is”

naw couldn’t be….

Anyways as I’m observing him

It almost makes me chuckle

How a man could be so obese from

All the bullshiet nonsense he feeds himself,

But still have his belt buckled

Claiming with words and inadequate action

that he is progressive,

I begin to feel like I’m hooked on phonics

I can’t read his mixed message

He’ll tell you one day to respect women

Because they be like your mother, sister, auntie, grandmother whatever

But his true beliefs are more unpredictable than the weather

His thoughts

His thoughts are more scattered than rain drops,

During fall season and he swears that he’s deep,

but every other conversation he’s had is plain talks

He’ll claim that bitch, slut, and hoe are no longer

A part of his vocab,

but the next day he’ll get dissed by a female

be like “fuck that bitch ass slutty hoe” and be all mad

Truth be told I’m probably not even better

But look at this mother fucker swears he’s a go getter

Like he’s got dreams,

That he’s looking to accomplish

Trying to give good advice to his homies

But they don’t want shiet

He’s trying to go from negative to positive and its on

Top of that he just looks hella dummy

Gone stupid and retarded

Cuz he pretends to be hard and cold hearted

He starts to look lost now, like he’s walking in the dark

And their ain’t no light to guide him

Just continual darkness that continues to be misguiding

He tries so hard to do what’s right as opposed to what’s wrong

But it all seems to familiar like a sad love song

Trying his best to let his voice be heard,

But gets all lost and mixed up like a child speaking his first word

Claiming that he’s activist

But I bet if shiet went down he’d act a bitch

Or maybe a pussy

who tries to offer a lil something

But just comes off as pushy

Like some cracked out prostitutes,

but instead his morals are for sale

trying to define himself but hes struggling

at the age of 20 as a young male

trying so hard to figure out what to do with his life,

but he’s so attached to his worries and his bull shiet

that you could call them his wife

except harder to divorce

through discourse

and remorse

of the stupid decisions that he makes,

feeling like it’s all a bad dream and he still needs to wake

up trying to keep those grades up

so he could be made up

into what society wishes him to be

responsible

hitting light switches so he could see

His parent’s putting pressure on him to graduate college

But he feels like he’s wasting his time and not gaining any knowledge

and now I realize as I glance around at my surroundings

catch eyes with him and my heart begins the pounding

my blood pressure starts the rising

but now my eyes are not blinding

to the truth

My eyes catch a young man who is familiar

And it’s like I know him and I do

Staring with the same look on his face cuz

He knows me to

And I know his name and who he be

As I’m looking at my reflection

I realize this mother fucker is me…

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