WOC(weapons of choice):
Lipton green tea which i hate
Nong Shim Bowl Noodle shrimp flavor
Camel Turkish Royals
I know chances are no one really quite reads this shit any more for a multitude of reasons. They don't care. I hardly update. Not as interesting as before. etc. Its interesting really that I decided about two years ago to be a Lit & Writing major with an emphasis in writing when i hardly seem to find the time to write anything. Not that that would matter to anyone really besides myself, but i noticed how much people don't really take me seriously about the whole writing thing. Maybe i just expect too much, but when you run into people who you kind of know or used to know they ask you the same dreaded question they asked you the last time fate decided to bore you with their presence. Whats your major? "It's the same thing it was last time" is what i think in my head. It's hypocritical really, i can't pretend as if i really am paying attention myself about half the time someone i could care less about is speaking to me.
Despite my frustration with peoples lack of interest, thats not what i decided to write about. I really just wanted to address somethings that have been bothering me.
After having turned 21 i have to say the experience was just...well---eh. Thats it all the hype leading up to this point i have to say that im hardly content with this past weeks festivities. Maybe im just being pessimistic but its kind of depressing to one degree or another. One of those mixed feelings that you get in your heart your head and in your stomach all at the same time.
It could possibly just be the fear of it all, you know growing up. Straight up growing pains on a young man. I've come to a point of desperately trying to find myself, but im never content. Since three years ago i've picked up a lot of new things and kept some old things that i personally like....
More active within the community
Created an even closer bond with the people that matter most
Made new friends
Found out to a degree which of the new ones i actually care about
Been less reliant on others to make me feel better(although at times i cant help myself)
Still passionate
Grew up mentally
...and so on and so on
Still though something seems inherently missing in my life. Such as a concrete plan of some sort. I toy around with bullshit ideas of where i plan to be after college but it continues to catch up to me and i feel like i have no idea.
If you asked me three years ago where i thought i would be at 21 and i would have said something along the lines of "in a serious relationship, creating art and transfered to SDSU to pursue graphic design, happy, still hanging with the same ol niggas." It's funny really how things truly don't turn out the way you would expect whether its long term or short term assumptions about your life they never really do just that---work out the way you planned. I used to think naively about relationships and dating. Naively about potential career choices. Naively about happiness.
I realized that relationships are hard but so is dating. Neither are easy in any way shape or form. It is easy to look through one lens and say that one side is way easier. When realistically all of it sucks and is great equally.
It's always crazy to think you want to do one thing with your life and then find out later it really doesn't always work out that way. I am passionate about writing and moving forward in all aspect of my life and those surrounding me.
Happiness is overated and over analyzed in my true opinion. It is also the hardest thing to recognize or truly make myself believe. For instance when i run into someone i havent seen in awhile they always ask how i have been I struggle with answering the question so i cop out and just say that i'm good. Immediately i regret saying this because what i really want to say is "Im ok today and tomorrow i'll flip a coin and heads i'm amazing/tails i'm lost and confused." For me that is truly how it works in my fickle little mind.
As much as i'm clearly a little upset, lonely, depressed, and lost today. Tommorow really is a new day and i may feel like a million bucks. Who knows? I sure as hell don't, but till next time imaginary readers
-just ray
Progressive mobbin' every day
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
How to be a man
I find myself asking useless questions,
never provided with any concrete answers
like what does it mean to be a man?
And i wonder why there aren't any guidelines
why aren't their any rules or regulations
for a young man to follow
because the answer is never so simple
its just like hard liquor but a lot harder to swallow
to be a man must one feel truly hollow?
on the inside empty and alone
Making his pride and ego the place he calls home
unable and unwilling to show emotion
or true feelings
correction anger seems to be the
only exception
at least thats what the majority
seem to teach boys as there first lesson
a mans gotta be hard, tough,
can never back down from anybody
has to know how to solve problems with his fists
never opening up his palm and bending his wrists
cuz apparently that makes you a faggot
we use hurtful words so much when we speak
that we pretend that they've lost all meaning
we say fag when were angry
and when were just joking around
but for some reason at our jobs
and professional situation
we watch our mouths
From what i see sexuality defines gender
meaning homosexuals are a whole other breed
and apparently cannot be considered men
it boggles my mind leaving me upset and bothered
when straight men can hardly stay married
and can abandon their kids and still be considered
fathers
so it leaves me dazed confused and amazed
at the mother fuckers that claim to be a man
when all i seem to notice is the contradiction
making it difficult for myself to understand
the logic
i feel like i missed the memo
better yet i was thrown the pass
and i guess i never caught it
i had a late start so i never caught up
Growin up i was told that boys don't cry
so with that option eliminated men just lie
to our mothers our sisters and our lovers
to our women
even the word seems to imply that you aint a woMAN
unless youve had a MAN inside you
never wanting to add girls permanently
just wanting to subtract the clothes
and go for the the legs and divide through
to be contd.
never provided with any concrete answers
like what does it mean to be a man?
And i wonder why there aren't any guidelines
why aren't their any rules or regulations
for a young man to follow
because the answer is never so simple
its just like hard liquor but a lot harder to swallow
to be a man must one feel truly hollow?
on the inside empty and alone
Making his pride and ego the place he calls home
unable and unwilling to show emotion
or true feelings
correction anger seems to be the
only exception
at least thats what the majority
seem to teach boys as there first lesson
a mans gotta be hard, tough,
can never back down from anybody
has to know how to solve problems with his fists
never opening up his palm and bending his wrists
cuz apparently that makes you a faggot
we use hurtful words so much when we speak
that we pretend that they've lost all meaning
we say fag when were angry
and when were just joking around
but for some reason at our jobs
and professional situation
we watch our mouths
From what i see sexuality defines gender
meaning homosexuals are a whole other breed
and apparently cannot be considered men
it boggles my mind leaving me upset and bothered
when straight men can hardly stay married
and can abandon their kids and still be considered
fathers
so it leaves me dazed confused and amazed
at the mother fuckers that claim to be a man
when all i seem to notice is the contradiction
making it difficult for myself to understand
the logic
i feel like i missed the memo
better yet i was thrown the pass
and i guess i never caught it
i had a late start so i never caught up
Growin up i was told that boys don't cry
so with that option eliminated men just lie
to our mothers our sisters and our lovers
to our women
even the word seems to imply that you aint a woMAN
unless youve had a MAN inside you
never wanting to add girls permanently
just wanting to subtract the clothes
and go for the the legs and divide through
to be contd.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
BUST A reCAP IN YO ASS
Weapons Of Choice
1. No grits
2. Arizon Green tea
3. No snack
Jam At The Moment
Blue Scholars - Loyalty 2
Poem Of the Day
Trish & I - Untitled Piece
Quote of the day
"Either write something worth reading or DO something worth writing" -Hemingway
Just Ray back in full effect yall with Poetry, Cigarettes & BS. I've been away from the blog world for quite sometime now especially from my own personal blog. Nazer and Lance continue to represent for the Cool Kids hopefully a few posts from yours truly will pop up soon. For now though i think that those that read PC&BS would agree that a post is long over due. With that being said i figured i'd start this post off with a quick recap of the last couple posts on this damn thang.
Recap
In February i was supposed to be giving up cigarettes for lent....yea that didn't work out to well, but i am once again taking a crack at it now that its july. I also sought out on the process of Deconstructing Just Ray. This entailed gaining more independance and concentrating more on substance than outward appearance...oh yea that was pretty much a fail as well. I did manage to grow a semi goatee and my hair is pretty long im pretty close to the classic Uncle Jesse steez that i once claimed in 05.
Deconstruction of Just Ray
Before
After
Yea thats right i'm not scared of putting embarassing pictures up of myself, but check out the differences. Clearly more passionated about life in the before picture and hardly enthusiastic about anything after. Fully clothed before and semi naked + clear view gang tattoos after. What appears to be a marlboro 27 before and fiending for cigarettes in the after. Clean cut + fitted sd cap before and scrubby + cant be contained by hats hairstyle after. Not to mention i seem to be 5 pounds less before and ready to explode in the after. All jokes aside is it me or could these pictures be of two completely different people.
Present Day
The quintessential (yea i had to make sure that the word was correctly used in context) question is Am i any different as a person on the inside after all this time has passed? Simply put yes.
However, i dont attribute my "growing up" to the whole deconstruction process. First of all because i didn't even pull through on about half the things i said i would do. Second I think that given any kind of time a person makes a few changes. Truthfully the whole deal seemed to point to a reason fro me to kind of just scrub the fuck out. Well....i guess that isn't all true. I've done a lot as well as learned a lot since last summer and i must say im pretty proud of myself.
As an individual i feel much stronger, i realized that i am no tough guy rather i'm just passionate. So at times passion turns to anger and i've learned to control that. Apparently my MS paint skills are pro now according to a couple of folks who read the cool kids blog. I do a lot for the community now, more than i had initially planned to. Oh and i did the best i've ever done in school this past semester and managed to get my ass off of Academic Probation. Recently elected Cultural Chair for CSUSM's Kamalayan Alliance..it was a close race you know running against myself but in the end they made the right decision by electing me.
I still have a long way to go as far as growin up and figuring shit out, but i can at least say that i've made steps if not strides towards where i wish to be.
-Just Ray
1. No grits
2. Arizon Green tea
3. No snack
Jam At The Moment
Blue Scholars - Loyalty 2
Poem Of the Day
Trish & I - Untitled Piece
Quote of the day
"Either write something worth reading or DO something worth writing" -Hemingway
Just Ray back in full effect yall with Poetry, Cigarettes & BS. I've been away from the blog world for quite sometime now especially from my own personal blog. Nazer and Lance continue to represent for the Cool Kids hopefully a few posts from yours truly will pop up soon. For now though i think that those that read PC&BS would agree that a post is long over due. With that being said i figured i'd start this post off with a quick recap of the last couple posts on this damn thang.
Recap
In February i was supposed to be giving up cigarettes for lent....yea that didn't work out to well, but i am once again taking a crack at it now that its july. I also sought out on the process of Deconstructing Just Ray. This entailed gaining more independance and concentrating more on substance than outward appearance...oh yea that was pretty much a fail as well. I did manage to grow a semi goatee and my hair is pretty long im pretty close to the classic Uncle Jesse steez that i once claimed in 05.
Deconstruction of Just Ray
Before
After
Yea thats right i'm not scared of putting embarassing pictures up of myself, but check out the differences. Clearly more passionated about life in the before picture and hardly enthusiastic about anything after. Fully clothed before and semi naked + clear view gang tattoos after. What appears to be a marlboro 27 before and fiending for cigarettes in the after. Clean cut + fitted sd cap before and scrubby + cant be contained by hats hairstyle after. Not to mention i seem to be 5 pounds less before and ready to explode in the after. All jokes aside is it me or could these pictures be of two completely different people.
Present Day
The quintessential (yea i had to make sure that the word was correctly used in context) question is Am i any different as a person on the inside after all this time has passed? Simply put yes.
However, i dont attribute my "growing up" to the whole deconstruction process. First of all because i didn't even pull through on about half the things i said i would do. Second I think that given any kind of time a person makes a few changes. Truthfully the whole deal seemed to point to a reason fro me to kind of just scrub the fuck out. Well....i guess that isn't all true. I've done a lot as well as learned a lot since last summer and i must say im pretty proud of myself.
As an individual i feel much stronger, i realized that i am no tough guy rather i'm just passionate. So at times passion turns to anger and i've learned to control that. Apparently my MS paint skills are pro now according to a couple of folks who read the cool kids blog. I do a lot for the community now, more than i had initially planned to. Oh and i did the best i've ever done in school this past semester and managed to get my ass off of Academic Probation. Recently elected Cultural Chair for CSUSM's Kamalayan Alliance..it was a close race you know running against myself but in the end they made the right decision by electing me.
I still have a long way to go as far as growin up and figuring shit out, but i can at least say that i've made steps if not strides towards where i wish to be.
-Just Ray
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Up In Smoke: Day 5-6
I know i haven't been keeping up with posting everyday, but gimme a break i do have a life outside of this blog.
Quick update on how things are going with the my Lenten sacrifice:
It's been going pretty slow, i smoke a lot less smoking at the most maybe 4 cigarettes a day which is a lot better than my usual 10-15 a day. Of course there was the exception of this passed saturday, but that was part in due to the fact that some mother fuckers are just idiots. But thats a entirely different story.
As far as the josh hartnett 40 days and 40 nights goes lets just say i failed, i'm almost ashamed to say it, but yes i did fail. Nuff said.
As far as today goes it went alrite i wrote another scene for Kamalayan's PCN and made it to both my classes today despite my lack of motivation. I was irritable today in some ways, possibly because of the lack of nicotine. I did somewhat subdue my anxiety by smoking a couple of shorts. If you don't know what shorts are then you don't want to know. So for today i have a new piece which is another kind of cop out since i wrote it for my creative writing workshop class, but sue me.
Poem of the day
Cowardly Fun
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Underage fun mixed with
A dose of early alcoholism
Equals up to more hangovers
Than teenagers driving home sober
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Music blasts as the local DJ spins his records
Allowing youth to enjoy a night of dancing
That appears to be more sexual than anything else
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Sweat drips from foreheads, down exposed skin
Owner of the house sweats triple that of everyone else
For fear of neighbor complaints for an excess of noise
And arrival of forehead vein Popping, angry parents
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Smoke filled air in a backyard to small to hold a sea of bodies
Shoulder to shoulder, cheek to cheek,
New shoes bought ruined by spills from beverages unknown
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The sound of screams echo through the night sky
Taking cover behind cars for fear of your own life
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The sound is more eerie than Hollywood presents it to be
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Even from afar the sparks correspond to each crackle and each pop
Frozen for what seems like forever, but could only be less than a second
Pop! Pop! Pop!
4 pairs of the shoulders you stood close to inside,
lying motionless on the sidewalk
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Recall your shoes dirty from unknown spilt beverages
As two people lay on the ground with blood spilled concrete
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The air that seemed to be filled with screams before,
Seems so quite that you can hear ambulance and police sirens
From miles away
Pop! Pop! Pop!
A night of fun becomes tragic
As one of two injured
Loses his life having not been apart of the confrontation
Just another kid who came to party just happened to pick the wrong night
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The first sound that arises in my mind when recalling that night
Happens to be his last sound heard
As the cowardly gun went
POP! POP! POP!
Quick update on how things are going with the my Lenten sacrifice:
It's been going pretty slow, i smoke a lot less smoking at the most maybe 4 cigarettes a day which is a lot better than my usual 10-15 a day. Of course there was the exception of this passed saturday, but that was part in due to the fact that some mother fuckers are just idiots. But thats a entirely different story.
As far as the josh hartnett 40 days and 40 nights goes lets just say i failed, i'm almost ashamed to say it, but yes i did fail. Nuff said.
As far as today goes it went alrite i wrote another scene for Kamalayan's PCN and made it to both my classes today despite my lack of motivation. I was irritable today in some ways, possibly because of the lack of nicotine. I did somewhat subdue my anxiety by smoking a couple of shorts. If you don't know what shorts are then you don't want to know. So for today i have a new piece which is another kind of cop out since i wrote it for my creative writing workshop class, but sue me.
Poem of the day
Cowardly Fun
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Underage fun mixed with
A dose of early alcoholism
Equals up to more hangovers
Than teenagers driving home sober
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Music blasts as the local DJ spins his records
Allowing youth to enjoy a night of dancing
That appears to be more sexual than anything else
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Sweat drips from foreheads, down exposed skin
Owner of the house sweats triple that of everyone else
For fear of neighbor complaints for an excess of noise
And arrival of forehead vein Popping, angry parents
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Smoke filled air in a backyard to small to hold a sea of bodies
Shoulder to shoulder, cheek to cheek,
New shoes bought ruined by spills from beverages unknown
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The sound of screams echo through the night sky
Taking cover behind cars for fear of your own life
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The sound is more eerie than Hollywood presents it to be
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Even from afar the sparks correspond to each crackle and each pop
Frozen for what seems like forever, but could only be less than a second
Pop! Pop! Pop!
4 pairs of the shoulders you stood close to inside,
lying motionless on the sidewalk
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Recall your shoes dirty from unknown spilt beverages
As two people lay on the ground with blood spilled concrete
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The air that seemed to be filled with screams before,
Seems so quite that you can hear ambulance and police sirens
From miles away
Pop! Pop! Pop!
A night of fun becomes tragic
As one of two injured
Loses his life having not been apart of the confrontation
Just another kid who came to party just happened to pick the wrong night
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The first sound that arises in my mind when recalling that night
Happens to be his last sound heard
As the cowardly gun went
POP! POP! POP!
Friday, February 8, 2008
Up in Smoke/ Poets fuckn SUCK: Dia Dos
Awake are the Crooks
Take a deep breathe,
Close eyelids so heavy
They stay shut
Create images
Surreal
Fo real
Deal,
Slang,
Thought .
Elevate the mind
Fuck the body
I got soul
Call the rest
A temple,
And worship
Minds.
Cuz mines
Is on a higher
Level
I be a rebel
Or Re BELL
Revolt n oppose
Ignorance
It aint bliss
It’s bitch
Stay lifted
And just hit
Fear not
Throw fists
Just one to the air
No violence
Be flu
And think sick
Throw the black
Hoodies on
And ski masks
Prepare to rob
Cuz we
mob
Deep
Deep is the mental,
Progress and be
Instrumental
Spit the rhyme
N make sense
Fuck cents
Like pennies
There will always be
Plenty
Full is the stomach
Of hip hop
When it used to be
Starving
Satisfied is weak
But hungry
Does what it takes
Unstoppable
As a collective
Think CONSCIOUS is dead,
I say naw
Dwells beneath
the streets
Listen closely
The progressive mob
Never sleeps
Jam of the night: Visionaries-if you cant say love
Take a deep breathe,
Close eyelids so heavy
They stay shut
Create images
Surreal
Fo real
Deal,
Slang,
Thought .
Elevate the mind
Fuck the body
I got soul
Call the rest
A temple,
And worship
Minds.
Cuz mines
Is on a higher
Level
I be a rebel
Or Re BELL
Revolt n oppose
Ignorance
It aint bliss
It’s bitch
Stay lifted
And just hit
Fear not
Throw fists
Just one to the air
No violence
Be flu
And think sick
Throw the black
Hoodies on
And ski masks
Prepare to rob
Cuz we
mob
Deep
Deep is the mental,
Progress and be
Instrumental
Spit the rhyme
N make sense
Fuck cents
Like pennies
There will always be
Plenty
Full is the stomach
Of hip hop
When it used to be
Starving
Satisfied is weak
But hungry
Does what it takes
Unstoppable
As a collective
Think CONSCIOUS is dead,
I say naw
Dwells beneath
the streets
Listen closely
The progressive mob
Never sleeps
Jam of the night: Visionaries-if you cant say love
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Day One Of Up in Smoke: BUSTED!
Failure.
well ok maybe not to that level, but you get my point.
Now judge if you must because i pretty much deserve it. I failed and in less than 12 hours of beginning my little lent sacrifice. I woke up this morning sitting on my little side walk next to my garage...waiting for CANDIDA to pick my ass up. In waiting i was already going crazy from the lack of nicotine, but i persevered and made it to school smoke free. Rewinding a bit i made the mistake of not smoking all of my cigarettes before the dead line so i had about 8 cigarettes left sitting on my bathroom sink. After class candida dropped me off at home so i could shower, and then the trouble starts. I noticed that my irritation level was fairly higher than usual due to how hungry my lungs were for nicotine. So instead of smoking i made some hot wings and a corn dog to satisfy my craving, however i realized the food would only satisfy one of my urges. So i resorted to saying "fuck it i need one" and i smoked one.....and how ooooo so sweet the mix of over a 100 chemicals felt seeping into my lungs.
Long story short, i smoked about 4 cigs and still have like 4 more which is not good. Some may suggest "why not just throw them away" and i am sorry i can't just waste perfectly good cigarettes. I mean to think some poor kid in Mira Mesa who can't buy his own cigarettes is suffering and would die to be in my position. SO I SAY NO!!! FOUL NAY SAYERS! I WILL NOT THROW THEM AWAY THAT WOULD BE SHEER MADNESS.!
Although i have failed both god and myself today i shall not fret for this is only one loss on the side of good. You may have won this time oh tobacco companies, but you have not WON THE WAR!
YOU CAN TAKE OUR LIVES BUT YOU'LL NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!
IMMORTALITY TAKE IT, IT'S YOURS!
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?!?!?
GIVE THEM NOTHING TAKE FROM THEM EVERYTHING!
*insert epic movie quote here*
(whoever can name the quotes that those movies come from first i'll buy you lunch)
Anyways so heres my first poem of lent
its kind of a cop out cuz i wrote this for my creative writing class but fuck it
The Insomniac
I laid myself to Sleep,
Only to Awaken
To sweat drenched sheets
Lay Awake sweating,
To Sleep on sheets
drenched
Retreat from nightmare
Drenched dreams
As I sweat myself to Sleep
Fear of Awakening
Dream sweat all too real
Nightmare drenches my
reality
Sleep to rest
Sleep to escape what is real
Sleep is a CURSE
Awake,
reality hurts
Awake,
escaping nightmares too real
Awake,
Is an affliction
Sleep yearns to be Awake
Finally Awake and now wish to be aSleep
Awake due to the fact
That I can’t Sleep.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Up In Smoke: A Poet's Journey/Poets Fuckin SUCK.
Now doesn't that headline just sound so epic...no i guess not, but i'll get into that later.
Weapons of choice:
Marlboro Lights(not for long though)
Bee movie fruit flavored snacks
and oh so sweet arizona green tea the king of green teas (fuck sobe)
I just wanted to share a lil comment and mix it up by posting the quote of the day first, that was posted about rafael casal on youtube, you know the barbie and ken 101 guy for all of you readers (lance and kristine) out there and def poetry jam heads.
"All I'm sayin is that the motherfucker's skinny, he doesn't look tough, he don't look like he has heart, plus he's a poet. I'd out-box his faggot ass anyday and he knows it, that's why he'd never fight me.
Poets fuckin suck."-some youtube hater
I don't have anything really enlightening to say about this other than its funny and the last line is just cool to me i think i'm bout to make it my headline on myspace. Actually i'm gonna add a backslash to my original title and "poets fuckin suck." right after. I must say though that you know spoken word/poetry has broken into somewhat of pop culture when someone says POETS FUCKIN SUCK, it would be more culturally current if it said POETS FUCKIN SUCK BRO! or if it posted like this:
PoEtS FuCcIn SuCc BrOoOoO :) lol, rofl, jk
ANYWAYS moving on to more irrelevant things, i've come to the decision that for lent this year i'm going to be giving up cigarettes YES you heard correctly DUN DUN DUN cigarettes. (see how that relates back to the headline UP IN SMOKE clever i know) Now i realize that it won't be the first time i quit smoking and surely not going to be the last. However, i figure now would be a good time to quit smoking since i'm doing the whole deconstructing of just-ray thing on top of that i figure it will be way harder once midterms come around and finals so nows a good time to try. So don't get it mistaken for any real religious move especially since i didn't even know lent was on wednesday i needed to ask my own personal catholicism tour guide oliver deguzman to tell me. I was also thinking of pulling a josh hartnett and going without sex for lent
I mean i guess its sort of a cop out since i have a non existent sex-life as is, but doing the Josh hartnett would mean no *ahem* *ahem* as well. You know no spanking the monkey, no choking the chicken, no waxing the board....you catch my drift. (yes i hope you feel uncomfortable after reading that) I mean unless a real life equivalent of the oh so sexy SHANNYN SASSYMON enters my life, it shouldn't be that hard. right? Well, i'm still going to contemplate on the no sex thing.
Cuz sex and cigs is like peanut butter and jelly you can have one or the other, but their even better together. So instead of smoking i decided to just buy gum instead and just chew that shiet when i feel like smoking. The other thing i plan on doing as a weak supplement is write a poem for every day of lent or at least for how ever long i last without grits. Which of course will be posted here on Poetry, Cigarettes, and BS. If all goes according to plan i'll rename my blog name to something equally clever. And for the 40 days that i quit smoking i'll instead name the gum i'm currently chewing rather than the cigarettes that i would normally be smoking.
So as tradition and habit seems to dictate i'll end this entry with a poem and song of the day
Poem of the day
Ending a Relationship
Dear marb lights,
sharing countless memories
smoke filled lungs,
come common to nights
that seemed to rough
from one night stand regrets,
failed tests,
nagging parents,
i say goodbye to you
for my 2008 lent
You be my one and only
my reason for...living
no dying
slowly at that
killing me softly
in a way only lauryn hill
could truly explain
You made me struggle,
struggle to catch breath
after walking up step
after step
You be my one and only
because after every deeply inhaled hit
you gave me the shiets
So i say good bye my love
no longer in my life do you seem to fit
or at least until i get desperate and say to a homie "LEMME GET A GRIT!!!!!"
Jam that i'm feelin:
Power Struggle-Decolonization process
Weapons of choice:
Marlboro Lights(not for long though)
Bee movie fruit flavored snacks
and oh so sweet arizona green tea the king of green teas (fuck sobe)
I just wanted to share a lil comment and mix it up by posting the quote of the day first, that was posted about rafael casal on youtube, you know the barbie and ken 101 guy for all of you readers (lance and kristine) out there and def poetry jam heads.
"All I'm sayin is that the motherfucker's skinny, he doesn't look tough, he don't look like he has heart, plus he's a poet. I'd out-box his faggot ass anyday and he knows it, that's why he'd never fight me.
Poets fuckin suck."-some youtube hater
I don't have anything really enlightening to say about this other than its funny and the last line is just cool to me i think i'm bout to make it my headline on myspace. Actually i'm gonna add a backslash to my original title and "poets fuckin suck." right after. I must say though that you know spoken word/poetry has broken into somewhat of pop culture when someone says POETS FUCKIN SUCK, it would be more culturally current if it said POETS FUCKIN SUCK BRO! or if it posted like this:
PoEtS FuCcIn SuCc BrOoOoO :) lol, rofl, jk
ANYWAYS moving on to more irrelevant things, i've come to the decision that for lent this year i'm going to be giving up cigarettes YES you heard correctly DUN DUN DUN cigarettes. (see how that relates back to the headline UP IN SMOKE clever i know) Now i realize that it won't be the first time i quit smoking and surely not going to be the last. However, i figure now would be a good time to quit smoking since i'm doing the whole deconstructing of just-ray thing on top of that i figure it will be way harder once midterms come around and finals so nows a good time to try. So don't get it mistaken for any real religious move especially since i didn't even know lent was on wednesday i needed to ask my own personal catholicism tour guide oliver deguzman to tell me. I was also thinking of pulling a josh hartnett and going without sex for lent
I mean i guess its sort of a cop out since i have a non existent sex-life as is, but doing the Josh hartnett would mean no *ahem* *ahem* as well. You know no spanking the monkey, no choking the chicken, no waxing the board....you catch my drift. (yes i hope you feel uncomfortable after reading that) I mean unless a real life equivalent of the oh so sexy SHANNYN SASSYMON enters my life, it shouldn't be that hard. right? Well, i'm still going to contemplate on the no sex thing.
Cuz sex and cigs is like peanut butter and jelly you can have one or the other, but their even better together. So instead of smoking i decided to just buy gum instead and just chew that shiet when i feel like smoking. The other thing i plan on doing as a weak supplement is write a poem for every day of lent or at least for how ever long i last without grits. Which of course will be posted here on Poetry, Cigarettes, and BS. If all goes according to plan i'll rename my blog name to something equally clever. And for the 40 days that i quit smoking i'll instead name the gum i'm currently chewing rather than the cigarettes that i would normally be smoking.
So as tradition and habit seems to dictate i'll end this entry with a poem and song of the day
Poem of the day
Ending a Relationship
Dear marb lights,
sharing countless memories
smoke filled lungs,
come common to nights
that seemed to rough
from one night stand regrets,
failed tests,
nagging parents,
i say goodbye to you
for my 2008 lent
You be my one and only
my reason for...living
no dying
slowly at that
killing me softly
in a way only lauryn hill
could truly explain
You made me struggle,
struggle to catch breath
after walking up step
after step
You be my one and only
because after every deeply inhaled hit
you gave me the shiets
So i say good bye my love
no longer in my life do you seem to fit
or at least until i get desperate and say to a homie "LEMME GET A GRIT!!!!!"
Jam that i'm feelin:
Power Struggle-Decolonization process
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